Why am I the way I am? Why can I not be happy with the idea of being a “homemaker,” as most of my friends can? I really do not understand how it is a woman’s responsibility to “make a home.” I hate it when my friends say, “Well, housewives are really very important. If not for them, other family members would not be able to go out and work.”

It makes me red with anger when such statements are made, especially by women. People forget that women’s potential gets crushed, minced, pasted, dusted and wasted inside the territory called the “kitchen.” Her whole life is concluded to being a shadow of other family members, looking after them and the house. That nameless and aimless shadow is stepped over by beings of flesh and blood.

Inside the kitchen, she becomes firewood, singes her own dreams, and with the heat coming from these charred remains she cooks meals and serves others, while losing herself forever, dusting away the ashes that remain of her dreams.

It is heartbreaking to see how much time has gone by since women started raising questions about their rights and selves. Yet not much has changed. “She” has been synonymous with free labor, a subject to be objectified. “She” has been a mother and a daughter but has not been considered a being capable of holding equal citizenship rights; instead, she has been given a status of a ratified being incapable of her own protection.

Today, “she” is still the same. “She” has become a commodity of the modern capitalized world, a sexual object and a bearer of a double burden, where she is not only responsible for the jobs she has taken outside of the house, but also the household that she is assumed to take care of simultaneously.

Overcoming Education

We keep saying that education changes the entire scenario. But we forget what is included in school and college textbooks. Once, a friend expressed her outrage on Facebook about her son’s school textbook teaching him that women are housewives and fathers are the ones who go out to work.

Similarly, the textbook pictures showed that even if women opt for jobs, they can only become nurses and receptionists to assist the male doctors and the male bosses. She was explaining how her 6-year-old son was not ready to accept that women can also become doctors because his textbooks only show men in that role.

This is one of the examples that shows how education systems are part of the culture we live in, reinforcing the existing ideologies generation after generations. On top of that, print, electronic and social media keep exposing the patriarchal and discriminatory ideologies in more entertaining ways. What do we learn from these? What do the younger generations learn?

Lighter Beauty

We can reflect on the ads broadcast on Indian and Nepali television channels. Many of the items we regularly see advertised are beauty products, for example,��Fair and Lovely��beauty cream for women. In��,��a boy ignores a girl because of her dark complexion. As she becomes upset because of this, her sister-in-law suggests she��uses Fair and Lovely. In a few weeks after using the lightening cream, she becomes “fair” and “beautiful.” When the boy sees her after this “beautification,” he not only talks to her but, mesmerized by her “fair” beauty, instantly falls in love with her.

There are many Indian ads for products that try to retain the social and cultural concepts of “beauty” defined on the basis of skin tone. As many critics have pointed out, such ads promote fair skin as a concept of beauty on the one hand, and reduce women to objects of beauty on the other. Many and����express distress linked with complexion, showing girls not only being rejected for marriage because of their dark skin, but also psychologically tortured in different ways.

The phobia about skin color is not only limited to Nepal and India, but is prevalent in most South Asian countries. About a year ago, an����of being discriminated in different stages of her life based on her complexion.

The concept of beauty as linked with skin color has predominantly been advocated by the capitalist market and the media through advertising and films, and has become an intricate part of today’s life. And the intersection between gender, race, class, nationality, culture and social structure has invented more innovative ways of giving sense to such gender insensitivities through media.

Similarly, food producers like����showcase and promote traditionally-defined gender roles where a daughter-in-law, mother or a wife is shown working in the kitchen, while husbands, children and all the others order her to make lunch or dinner. Such ads always provide a false notion that a woman’s only responsibility is to feed her family, even if it means depriving herself of the same foods because family always comes first.

Likewise, when it comes to the��objectification of a woman’s body, we can turn to products like��Lux, Veet and��Slice—perfumes, deodorants and soaps—that not only reduce a woman’s body to an object, but also put it at the center of the male gaze. The physical portrayal of women is limited to fair, tall and slim girls to entertain male audiences and limiting the concept of “beauty” to a physical body of women and marginalizing all the other qualities such as intelligence or any talent she may have.

Apart from strengthening the traditionally defined roles of women, a trend of has made its own place in Bollywood (and recently Kollywood), where women become the spectacle of sexually hungry men.

The striving for size zero among celebrities and in the fashion world has started yet another kind of discrimination where women are sidelined to the periphery, outside the circle of slimline beauty.

There is a misunderstanding in this concept of beauty sold in the market at a cheap price. Despite the ongoing debates on these issues, such misconceptions reach households of every class and caste, embedding and taking a form of softened and entertaining version of discrimination, perpetuating its cycle.

The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect 51�Թ�’s editorial policy.

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Reading through a ��article from 2013, “International Women’s Day: Bollywood and its bold women characters,” I was excited to see the names of movies I had watched, like��Mother India��(1957), Aandhi��(Storm 1974) and English Vinglish��(2012). I could relate to what it meant by “bold” characters. Compared to other mainstream movies with male protagonists, these films did have strong roles for women. Bold, because they were performing outside of defined roles.

But, as usual, most Bollywood films have male protagonists. Will a few movies with “bold” female characters make any difference? What about the women in other mainstream Bollywood movies?

Looking at two films by Karan Johar—Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham��(A While of Happiness and A While of Sorrow, 2001) and��Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna��(Never Bid Goodbye, 2006)—might help understand how women are characterized in mainstream Bollywood movies. Johar was considered very talented among the young generation of directors during the 2000s, which was the marking of a new era. Most importantly, he has declared himself as a family filmmaker.

Both of these films were huge box office hits, so they provide a great insight into sphere-defined roles of women.

Gendered Roles

In the movie��,��the division of gender roles is portrayed right from the casting where the flashback shows an infant growing up. As he is becoming of age, the son does not appear with his father once. It is the mother who plays with him, feeds him and takes care of him while he is ill.

Similarly, there is a scene of��daadi��(paternal grandmother) and��naani��(maternal grandmother) talking, where the��daadi��expresses her regrets regarding how she could not take care of the home properly, and as a consequence could not bring the separated family together. She fears that when she dies, she will have to face God and will not have any proper answer for him.

The scene is very short but their conversation reflects the social definition of gendered duties, where women are portrayed as caretakers of the household, responsible for everything that happens inside. There are many such scenes and dialogues in this film that convey the best-suited roles for men and women. Even the words and phrases used in the title song “Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham” (sung by Jaya Bachchan in the movie) shows the husband to be superior to his wife—she is merely her husband’s shadow:

“Meri saanson main tu hai samaya��[You are the one captured in my breath]

mera jeewan toh hai tera saaya��[My life is a shadow of you]

teri pooja karun main toh hardam [Let me worship you always]

yeh hain tere karam kabhi khushi kabhi gham [It is your kindness, a while of happiness and a while of sorrow]”

While the song is sung during��Diwali��(festival of lights), the lyrics initially appear to be praising God, however, when the husband, Amitabh Bachchan, appears in the song she repeats the same phrases for him. She appreciates and shows her gratefulness to the husband for being kind and taking care of them.

Similarly, there are other dialogues that reveal how patriarchal ideologies of male supremacy are transferred from one generation to the next. For example, toward the end of the movie, Jaya says:��“My mother used to tell me all the time that husbands are incarnation of Gods, whatever he says or thinks is always right.”

The Decision-Maker

Usually, women are considered dependent because most of them do not have the liberty to go outside the house to earn money. Some who manage to step outside to work make a lot less than men. But being rich or poor does not change the situation, much because the husband still sets the rules at home. The woman is not the owner of freedom—rather she is at the receiving end of freedom.

With limited freedom, women are bound to follow their husbands and observe “their” prestige and honor. The film also shows that a once-independent woman (Kajol), who was managing her father’s sweet shop, stops working soon after getting married. Satirically, she shifts to London from Chandani Chowk, New Delhi, but leaves her economic and social independence behind in India. She completely converts herself into a housewife. Hence, the man remains the breadwinner of the family, as the conventional society expects of the gendered roles.

Similarly, in most family dramas, it is the male family members earning cash and female members generating the “feminine” roles. In such a situation, a wife not only has to take care of the house, but also the male breadwinner. She is responsible for his food, his clothes and even helps the husband put on a tie. She helps him get equipped with things like his wallet and socks—in most Bollywood movies, wives have to leave whatever work they are doing to find their socks for them.

In such situations, ironically, many a times the wife feels empowered by serving her husband. However, the power of making important household decisions remains with the husband or other male members. In the film, Amitabh Bachchan says to his wife to mark the final and unchangeable decision made by him: “When I say, that’s it, that’s it!” This shows his authority to make the final decision.

Swapping Gender Roles

The movie��is a little different. In this film, one of the leading female actors (Preity Zinta) is the chief editor of the US-based magazine��DIVA,��whereas her husband (Shah Rukh Khan) looks after their son and bears some household responsibilities as he stops working after a road accident leaves him injured. A newlywed Rani (and later a divorcee) is a primary school teacher and her husband (Abhishek Bachchan) is a business tycoon. It is a story about two unhappy families and an extramarital relationship.

As previously mentioned, there is an exchange of roles, which creates a situation where the husband goes through suspicion and humiliation, increasing his frustration and making him into an angry man. Rani, on the other hand, is a wife who loves household responsibilities—a woman that Khan’s character would happily accept in the film. Later in the movie, Khan accuses Zinta for their failed relationship. Khan’s accusation, “You lost that person because of you yourself,” seems to make an attempt to warn the audience that swapping culturally defined roles might bring about destruction in the family.

In one scene, Khan’s son confesses his passion for violin instead of football. Shah Rukh Khan’s character loses his temper: “So you want to play violin? Why not you wear a frock too, that will make it perfect! … Wait, I will make you wear a frock as soon as we reach home.”

Amitabh Bachchan, who plays the father to (his real-life son) Abhishek, is a prestigious and rich old man. Despite being well-established and firm in his business, he has a weakness called “women.” As you watch him trying to flirt with any woman he sees, it is painfully obvious that had a woman been portrayed as behaving the same way, she would have been given a very specific “title,” implying that she is not a woman acceptable for making a family.

Both these films try to establish a conventional role of women. It doesn’t matter if women are involved with the outside sphere, as long as she is capable of managing the household too. Otherwise things will fall apart. This is strongly established in Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, where the swapping of roles becomes the main reason for their bitter relationship.

Similarly, though Zinta’s character is an editor, she is not shown doing anything important. And again, she is the editor of the female fashion magazine��Diva. Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham��establishes the fact that no matter whatever background a woman is from, her education or rearing does not matter much as she is going to end up as a housewife like Kajol. They are there to support the male members of society.

Traditional Ideologies in Bollywood

Karan Johar, through his movies, is reconfirming traditional ideologies. He has selected roles for actors that the audience would easily accept. There is no controversy: family films are loved by families. After all they are made for them.

We should not forget that when well-established and respected icons like Amitabh Bachchan and Shah Rukh Khan keep representing the conventional trend, the audiences who watch these movies internalize it and make it a part of life their lives. Films and the media in general are an effective means of shaping the minds of people where it infects the independent thought process of individuals and makes them mesmerized in a world that is created for them by someone else.

The second wave of feminism that began in the 1960s America and gradually spread across the world questioned the conventional roles of women as housewives. The aim was to make everyone understand that women, like men, cannot develop their full potential until they get an opportunity to get out of house and engage in different jobs just like men. In India, this role still persists and is endlessly reproduced in popular culture.

The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect 51�Թ�’s editorial policy.

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A few days ago, I encountered a situation where one of my friends commented on how women’s working abilities are less than those of men. I responded to him about how capability is not defined by physical strength but rather intellect. However, I couldn’t help but��think: How far have we really come in terms of gender equality, and why is it still important to ask questions about gender-based discrimination and violence?

I am originally from Kathmandu, Nepal, and for last four years I’ve been living in Delhi, India. I do not find much difference in the patriarchal mindset of the people in both these places. People still doubt that women can do anything better than a man can—as my friend says: “Men and women can never be equal.” They not only question women’s��physical ability, but also express doubt whether women can be equally intelligent. Similarly, I have met men for whom domestic violence is important to keep women “on track.”

Burden and Property

Conducting a survey of news on women in general news websites provides us a glimpse of the high rate of violence against women. For example, on one news website (selected randomly), more than 30 articles from January 2016 to early December 2016 were on violence against women. Most of the news talked about different gendered issues in Canada, but there were news highlighting other parts of the world, including the Asia Pacific region and countries like India and Pakistan. The issues��covered included��bullying and harassment of women workers, sexual assault and rape, honor killings, and highly-publicized and criticized incidents like a�� that gave women make-up tips to cover signs of domestic violence.

criticized how women are given tips regarding the kinds of clothes they should wear for their own safety. These were the news articles that made it into the world media because of the debate and concern they produced among an international audience.

We do not have to look far to see the discrimination and violence that women encounter in their everyday lives. It exists everywhere, regardless of caste, class, age, race and religion. Let us look at��some facts and figures from four South Asian countries: Two of these have Hindu-majority populations (Nepal and India) and two of the others are Muslim majority (Afghanistan and Bangladesh).

In July 2016, the documenting cases directly related to violence against women in Afghanistan. According to the report, which looked at the first six months of 2016, the Afghanistan Independent Human Rights Commission recorded 5,132 cases of violence against women, which included 241 murders. Other conducted by the Women Rehabilitation Center (WOREC) in Nepal showed that 1,563 cases against women violence were recorded from April 2012 to 2013. Apart from that, it also pointed out that between��5,000 and 12,000 girls and women aged 10 to 20 are trafficked every year.

Violence against women has been increasing in Bangladesh rapidly over the last decade, exemplified by the growing figures of dowry-related violence, where women are tortured and, in many cases, killed by in-laws and husbands. Women are expected to bring a dowry—money, gifts, properties, etc.—with them. As the social structures in these countries are in a process of changing, the expectations and demands from the groom’s family seem to be increasing.

Many times, a woman from a poor family suffers such violence because her parents cannot fulfill all the demands made by the groom or his family. It keeps happening because women are still looked at as a burden and property that needs to be taken care of, the ownership of which is transferred from father to husband.

In this sense, dowry becomes a justifiable means to claim money or property as a charge for taking care or responsibility for��a woman. From 2004 to 2012, dowry-related violence increased from 2,981 cases to 4,563 in , and nearly 110,000 complaints on violence against women were recorded by Bangladeshi police from 2010 to 2012. Similarly, according to one article , “Crimes against women [are] reported every two minutes in India”—more than 2.2 million cases/crimes were registered in a last decade.

It shows the increment in such crimes compared to past decades. It might be the result of many social transformations leading to different crises and the rise in criminal activities, however, we should also not forget that the increased number might also be because of the better track of records and filed complaints. Many women have reported crimes that previously used to go unreported, fearful to damage family prestige and honor, when questions were raised about the women and their character rather than the problems and suffering they faced.

Hail the Patriarchy

These statistics��should be enough to make us realize that we are still far behind on the road to equality. This fight against discrimination and violence is an ongoing process. Our grandmothers fought for their rights, mothers raised their concerns against all kinds of discrimination, and we are still carrying on their fighting.

In many countries, though legally women are considered to have equal rights to men, these laws become inapplicable in a social context. They are still bound to bend to��patriarchy in order to survive. It reminds us again of the huge number of women who go through different kinds of violence; the most common among them is domestic violence. According to a 2011-12��, about 600 million women live in countries like Armenia, Congo, Haiti, Kenya, Russia, Pakistan and Russia where domestic violence is , making it more difficult to fight against.

An Al Jazeera documentary,��, addresses how women become victims and suffer at the hands of their loved ones. The film shows the horrific stories of abuse of women living in a secret shelter in Kabul. The victims narrate their lives, and in almost all the stories it is a��close family member who had become a threat to these women’s lives. While only a few of them are able to get��into such shelters, many other women who cannot escape the violence resort to drastic measures, including��self-immolation, to end their suffering.

Gender-based violence is prevalent across the whole of South Asia, however, the trends and nature of violence varies. In India and Bangladesh, there is a high incidence��of rape, while in Afghanistan, marital rape is more common. Similarly, acid attacks on women have been occurring more often��in Nepal, Bangladesh and India. Recently, such cases of acid attacks have also surfaced in different parts of Afghanistan.

A lack of state sovereignty all over its territory has created many gray spaces in which the Taliban and traditional clergy exercise violence against women in Afghanistan.

However, in other South Asian countries, despite many efforts from the state and local activists, the increase in violence suggests that the patriarchal roots still have a strong hold on the traditions, culture and way of life where men��are still considered superior and women have no say about their lives.

The topic of gender discrimination and violence has become common in every part of the world. The word common means two things here. First, the campaign to fight violence against women has reached many cities and villages, making people aware of��the reality that women face. Second, it has become so common and normalized that, instead of decreasing, it is on the rise—in some places outstandingly, as seen in Bangladesh.

Similarly, there are different kinds of discrimination that still persist across the globe: unequal pay; discrimination in the��home and at work; household chores still not considered “work”; women being seen as incapable of “hard” physical jobs; women’s bodies being sexually objectified and��taken as “property”; and granted unequal citizenship and property rights.

The list is seemingly endless. It is, therefore, essential to ask the questions regarding gender discrimination and violence, not just to find the answers as to why is it happening, but to make us all realize that the struggle and the fight are still in full swing.

The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect 51�Թ�’s editorial policy.

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